Musings from my Microsoft days - how I lost my sorry self.

Long time ago, during my first few months at Microsoft while working in the Exchange team I found a bug. After much deliberation I took myself to the developer's office. I was scared - those days I was scared about everything at work I think. I politely knocked on the door and with my "I am sorry but..." signature line entered the room. He was a very smart guy, listened to me patiently then very elaborately spent the next ten minutes explaining how my bug was not a bug. I was sure it was an issue but he was the developer and he was so eloquent and so confident that two minutes into the talk I believed him. On the 11th minute he realized a flaw in his explanation.

"Hmm, it is a bug. Forget all I told you so far."

I can't remember what he said after that but those lines really wiped out any lack of confidence I had. For ten minutes I had believed him. He had been speculating so confidently that I believed him. I doubted myself and really had believed him. 

I shed my sorry self and walked out a different person. If you ask me what my best bug at Microsoft was I have to say that one. It grew me a backbone and was the foundation many a bug stood their ground on.

Can't let my kids eat what I eat.

These days in India there are two ways to enjoy street food. On the street – with all the dirt, grime and thrill of not knowing how you are going to feel the next day. In restaurants and kiosks at malls that use mineral water and gloves to handle the ingredients to create them in a hygienic way. Die hard off the pavement ‘gourmets’ like me will never agree that the mineral water golas ( ice cones) or pani puri tastes anywhere as good as the real street thing. But on the other side of this rebel is a mom - of two semi delicately raised kids- who worries about the many diseases that linger on the ungloved hand as it dunks into the spiced water at a roadside pani puri stand.

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The kids needed a haircut so we decided to take a walk to the mall. On the way Ankit and I stopped at a pani puri stand and for the first time in his life he joined me in eating them. In the past I would tell him it was spicy and he would back off and watch me down them. Not last night. He said he was fine with spicy – he is getting so Indian. An internal fight ensued– the kind parents have where your guts and heart fight it out violently FFC style while you keep a straight smiling face.  I was going to eat it, but I was strong and used to it, whereas he was my American born filtered water bathed baby. He already had taken a bowl and was ready. I know I will be chided by many for letting him but I did. I joined him too and placated the internal fight with the words “it is good for his immune system”.

Our walk ended at a mall. After the haircuts were done with I noticed a Gola stand. It proclaimed that the ice was made of mineral water and I saw gloves on the man handling the crushed goodness. Both Ankit and Ashvin wanted them. We chose our flavors and sat down to enjoy them. I had had a gola in Delhi last week. It was from a non-mineral water shack and I must say that one tasted so much better. This one however went down easy, way easy as my guts were not wrenched up watching my kids eat them.

Living in India and shopping in the US

Peeyush is embarking on another US trip shortly and once again we are working on our shopping list. Most of it is ordered online on Amazon, the rest comes from Costco, Trader Joes and the mall. Over the last eight months we have had some five US trips and I notice our shopping list getting smaller and smaller. Earlier food ( cereal, mac and cheese, pancake mix) was a big ask - from kids and us - but over time we have found Indian equivalent of things we like. Now lucky charms and other high sugar cereals are bought as treats. Reminds me of the time when people would visit us in Seattle and bring Indian sweets and snacks. It felt like tasting home. That is what lucky charms and fruit roll ups taste like to Ankit and Ashvin.
I thought I'd share the list out and reasons for getting some things from the US.

Electronics and Games (don't get them here)
Iphone 4 and its accessories
Ipad2 (top of the list actually)
Cables for TVs - to hook up apple TV and Google TV to Indian TV :)
Specially requested Lego sets
Leapster Explorer game inserts

Food that we like
Cannot get in India - 
KIND PLUS, Mango Macadamia bars
 Pure Protein High Protein Bar
Turkey Jerky
Agave Nectar
Sprinkle for cookies and cakes
Some Kids Candy - pixie sticks, fruit roll ups.


Can find but is freaking expensive (upto 5x the original price - a box of $2.50 lucky charms is $11 here)
Optimum Nutrition 100% Whey Gold Standard, Double Rich Chocolate
Lucky Charms Cereal
Cheerios - US not Indian. Indian one is too sweet.
Organic pancake and waffle mix
Maple Syrup
Nuts ( almonds, walnuts, pecan) - we just prefer the US ones.


Medicine and toiletries - we have not switched over to cold and fever medicine or multivitamins in India yet. Just comfortable and hooked into Nyquil and tylenol :)
Dayquil/Nyquil
Children's tylenol
Multivitamin
Gummy Bear Vitamins
Flosser Snap-on Heads
Replacement heads for sonic care toothbrush
Deodorant


Things I wish I could bring over ( have not found ones that I liked here yet)
Paper Towels for the kitchen
Toilet Paper
Few pieces of furniture - bookshelves and simple chairs for the living area.
Kids outdoor play area
Nice hanging flower pots

Besides these we still buy some clothes and accessories on our trips there. A few - like hiking boots - cause you cannot get them here but a few just cause we know the shops and used to their style more but overall you get everything else here - once you figure our where.

The International School of Bangalore (TISB) – review and a field trip with the pre-kg class

Ankit and Ashvin at school

For a breakdown of schools in Bangalore please see http://kindazesty.blogspot.com/2011/03/international-cbseicse-alternative-home.html
Ashvin goes to TISB as a pre-kg student. This is the youngest class in the school. We sent him their because it is the school Ankit goes to but are very happy with the decision. He gets onto the school bus with Ankit and we get updates on him via his brother, it is easy and convenient for us but to add to it the school has proved to be good too.

Ashvin’s class is comprised twenty children cared for by three teachers and an assistant. It is a bright cheerfully decorated class with a circle time rug in the center and areas for reading, building, eating etc. There is a big sandbox and a playground where they are taken to twice a day.

Lining up for a field trip

His day begins with a bus ride at 7:35. School starts at 8:10am and ends at 1:15pm. His bus drops him home by 1:40pm. On the bus all the little ones are kept in the first few rows, buckled up and overseen by a teacher or some assistant. There are three school buses from TISB to our community but all the little ones are kept on one bus. During the day in school too they are well chaperoned. Ankit smiles when he tells us how the pre kg class walks holding hands guarded by teachers on both ends and the commotion caused by Ashvin breaking the chain by running towards him.

They have been learning phonetically and do a lot of drawing, coloring and real life learning. The teachers are well trained and seem to really enjoy teaching these kids. My questions about places to take kids or what to do with Ashvin after school hours have been responded to in great detail. Besides that there is a parent teacher diary that Ashvin takes to school daily that helps keep communication flowing.

PlayGround at Jerry Marten Farm

I had the pleasure of joining his class on a recent field trip and got to spend the whole day with his class and teacher. The whole process was very similar to the field trips I went on with Ankit in US. They were counted again and again, given their school hats and then taken to the school bus. Everyone was buckled and counted again. A little speech on treating farm animals nicely was given and a short bus ride took us to Jerry Martin’s farm. At the farm there was the usual running around, feeding farm animals (and in the case of one kid the want to feed on the ducks, sheep, rabbits and pig – he wanted to eat everything). They sat and had snacks provided by the school and then played on the monkey bars, swings and see-saws. At noon they were herded back into the bus and driven back to school.

Lunch in the dining room. TISB

At this point I joined them for lunch which consisted of both Indian and continental options. I was impressed by the food – I went to a boarding school and our food was nothing like this. They even had oranges and Indian sweets for desert. They were not expecting any parents at lunch so I can honestly say that the food there seems to be good (it is always vegetarian for lunch, boarders that stay there have chicken and meat during dinner). Post lunch there was a short play time in the sandbox, some running around,  followed by a farm animal story time (with lots of animation and sound effects).
I had had my concerns about what an Indian school for a preschooler would be like and I must say that this school is at par and in some cases better than a preschool in the US. They have a good learning style, plays that kids participate in from an early age, swimming classes, field trips, caring teachers and a secure campus and classroom. Price wise it costs almost the same as a mid-range Seattle preschool (very expensive from Indian standards for a preschool) but it does have a 5-1 student teacher ratio and above all Ashvin loves going there.

Lunch Menu to that day

View of playaround outside classroom TISB

Sandbox

No playdates - hanging out the Indian way.

I was unpacking boxes in the guest room – about one week after we moved into the house in Bangalore – when I felt the presence of someone behind me. I turned and was surprised to see our neighbour’s son there. “Where is Ankit?” he asked. I was still shaken but pointed him to Ankit’s room. “How did you get in?” I asked him. “The kitchen door was open” he answered, all matter of fact, before running off to find Ankit. Few minutes later Ankit asked if they could go out to play and they were gone.

Years in Seattle had weaned me off impromptu drop-ins and kids owning the entire neighborhood. In India, I don’t remember a play date being arranged while growing up. Play dates in India meant a kid popping into a house, looking for the kids or a grownup that would direct him to the children. If you were doing homework the friend would be asked to come later. That was the protocol. There were no phone calls and time sync ups.

In Bangalore, a few weeks later I was having a little cookie decorating party. I had invited kids that I knew from around but ended up with double the number as others dropped in. Since then our house has some kid or the other drop by after school daily. There is someone or the other with Ankit and Ashvin – cycling, playing badminton, trying Dance Dance moves on the Wii etc.

I was surprised the first day this happened but even then I had smiled when they left. Ankit had a friend even before I had had time to meet up with the parents and set it up. Now I see Ashvin roaming the sixteen houses in our neighborhood. He drops by with coconuts and gets cookies and apple juice in return. He asks for Arjun ( two houses down) to come out and play with him and has been known to sneak into Malavika’s house to watch TV on days not allowed in our house. He lets Aditi know when Ankit has come home and then stands at their door and has long conversations with her parents. He has friends and feels welcomed by all around him. India has been an easier transition due to this for them.

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India is changing too - we setup time with friends that live far away from our house but in the community you live in your attitude makes all the difference. If it is secure enough and it is a good neighbourhood it is best to keep a open door policy and let kids ( and their parents come in) and feel welcome all the time. I keep extra packs of popcorn and treats in the pantry too. It is really nice for kids to have more kids around and it really helps them miss their old home and friend less.

Funny poster - you know you're Indian because ...

Going to find one for NRI but this is for the India Indians (and every Indian parent)

Made me smile

To view full size click here (and then click again on the poster that shows up)

The ICU CareTaker Waiting Area - a very human place.

For almost every patient in an ICU there is a caretaker waiting. They are called upon every now and then - to sign consent forms for treatments, in case of sudden detoriation or for a short visit. Each call is one of hope and of fear. At the Apollo hospital there is a special waiting area for such attendants. There are about a hundred recliners lined up for them to rest on during the day and sleep on at night. There are no rules written anywhere but a certain decorum is followed and camaradere develops.

My first night at the waiting area - I walked in and looked for a spot. Two women saw me and motioned to a seat next to them. I was quiet but they wanted to know everything. They had been there for over two weeks and seemed to know everyone and everything. I was alone and they took me under their wing. I tried to work on my laptop - keeping myself distracted while my mother slept under sedation. They started having dinner and insisted I join them. I politely refused multiple times and continued to type. Minutes later a piece of chicken wrapped in naan was handfed to me. I opened my mouth more in surprise than in wanting to eat. The woman next to me wanted to make sure I ate. She handfed me a few more bites. It was very unexpected, very Indian and the kindest thing a stranger had done to me in a long time. I was initiated into the ICU waiting area.

Seven days later I make sure I talk to anyone who sits near me or pauses near the water cooler. I let them tell me their story. I tell them it will all be ok. I talk about the people who got better during the week. I don't handfeed them chicken and naan but I always think about that moment and try to do my part.