Handprints on my heart.

The song playing was The Kills - Last Goodbye. Sad and sentimental as it gets.

I am getting our house painted so we can rent it out. I came, I planned and then I executed. Most walls were being painted by handymen but there was a small spot near the stairs that I thought of tackling myself. A little touchup was required. 

All seemed good till I came across a few handprints. Tiny handprints, hard to see on the wall, way down there. Little Ashvin's one and half year old hand prints. 

The world stopped still for a while. I could not get myself to paint over them. I had cried my eyes out when we sold our first car. Cried some more when we moved from our first house. It got better and by the third car I had stopped the wailing. It did not hurt all that much when we left this house but this little handprint bought back more memories than I could deal with with dry eyes.

 Ankit had bought home this poem from school once:

Very faint and very little.

Sometimes you get discouraged
Because I am so small
And always leave my fingerprints
On furniture and walls.
I’ll be grown some day
And all those tiny handprints
Will surely fade away.
So here’s a little handprint
Just so you can recall
Exactly how my fingers looked
When I was very small.

It had twisted my heart then and then again today.

The idealist me would have left the handprints on the wall. The practical me took a photo, wrote down this post and will paint over it. This time I will make sure Foster the People's Pumped up Kicks is playing loud enough.

When do birthdays stop being fun

Ashvin and I have our birthday during the same month – his excitement and mine towards the event are pretty different. He cannot wait to be five and a year closer to ten !! I am indifferent to say the least, another year less to live if I think too much into it. That is another thing growing ‘older’ takes away from you – the sheer joy of your birthday.

The first birthday that I can recall was my third (or fourth – well, many many birthdays ago). I could barely wait as I had been promised a walking doll. We were at my grandma’s place and I had spent the last few days searching high and low for it. I woke up with nervous anticipation that day – not sure if I would get it but very hopeful. My mom never told me where she hid it and I accepted the story of a plane dropping it with a parachute that morning without too many questions. The doll was everything I had imagined and much more. She walked and her eyes opened and closed. She was big and beautiful. It was a wonderful birthday.

Cakes we had growing up :)  cake photo from here

For the next few years birthdays were about parties organized at home – in a room decked with balloon we played passing the parcel and musical chairs, there was cake decorated with icing and little silver balls (that must be banned by now for some health issue for sure). You were treated special at school – standing in front of class as everyone sang for you before you doled out candy. Everyone was nice to you on that day.

By college the birthday parties and games were replaced by friends arriving at midnight with cake and birthday bumps. Birthdays were something you still looked forward too. Parents still gave you a gift – the popular slightly expensive electronic device of that time – and you could weasel out of trouble by using "it's my birthday" as an excuse with professors.

As you hit 25 (in the US) your car insurance rates drop and you still throw birthday parties or fake surprise at the ones carefully planned and executed for you.

Then somewhere along the way they stop being as much fun. You get a hundred wishes on facebook and seeing 74 new notifications does bring a smile to your face. You still feel special on that day but somehow the cake gets fattening and there is no gift that you hold your breath for (as you have usually bought all you wanted when you wanted them). 

So, as age has sucked the joy out of my birthday I have spent my energy  hiding the very special extra large Lighting McQueen car in a place Ashvin will never find. I am going to spin a story on how it appeared and watch his face light up as he sees his cake with extra frosting. I am going to make sure he enjoys every birthday cause I have realized you don't have that many - that many that you actually look forward to.

The design on the cake Ashvin wants this year.

The Chuck E Cheese’s Birthday – It is not about you

Last year Ashvin wanted his birthday party at Chuck E Cheese’s (Seattle). Personally I do not like that place but kids seem to love it. For me it is a little too crowded with below average pizzas and too many flashy lights but kids seem to love that too. Ashvin really wanted his party there. When he first mentioned it I tried my best to talk him into other options. I talked about the zoo and the bouncy place; I tried to sell every idea besides Chuck e Cheese’s. Ashvin however is a pretty adamant little guy who is very clear about what he wants. He stuck to Chuck e Cheese’s. Seeing how tortured I was Peeyush gave me some pretty good advice – “It is his birthday. It is not about you. It is about him”

It is hard but crucial, as a parent, to remember this. It is not about you. It is not about you when they throw a tantrum and embarrass the life out of you in a store. It is not about you when they want to wear their Spiderman pajamas to school every day for a week. It is not about you when they want their hair spiked in the front, or insist on learning Mandarin and not French (that you wanted them to learn). They are individuals and not mini you. They are going to have their own wants and make their own mistakes. You should be there to guide and provide a safety net so they can takes risks as they explore and grown into confident happy beings.

So, we had the birthday party at Chuck e Cheese’s. Ashvin was thrilled. He wore the blow up crown and played every game there. He was elated when the chuck e cheese’s mascot – the big rat – came over and danced with him. I can’t say I liked the rat or the pizza but the happiness on the little one’s face was priceless. It was definitely not about me but it was his best birthday ever and a parent what else could I want. (Anyways, I had had the first two birthdays, the ones before he got a mind of his own, and those with their pretty flowers and fruity cakes were definitely all about me J)

Making Money

I came home to a twelve year old almost in tears and a four year old busy drawing in a corner. Ashvin (4) had accidentally dropped and cracked the screen on Ankit’s phone.

I consoled Ankit the best I could – buying a new phone was not an option so he’d have to just deal with a cracked screen. As we walked along Peeyush said something about not giving kid’s phones in the first place. I was all the way up the stairs when I realized that Ashvin had not left his corner. I had bags in my hands so I walked over to the bedroom planning to have a talk with him in a bit.

Before I could call him Ashvin appeared with bits of paper in his hands. Rectangles and squares with numbers written all over them. “This is money”, he said. “I made money so you can buy bhaiya a new phone.”

These are the times I wonder if he is just innocently cute or super intelligent and playing with us. 

First take and review of Monkey Maze at Marthahalli, Bangalore

I had seen Monkey Maze many times on my drive over to WhiteField. It falls almost eye level on the left as you come off the bridge after Marthahalli. Today I finally took my four year old to it.

Monkey Maze is located above Pizza Hut, next To Purva Foundation Square. It is a huge, airy and well lit space. It has a nice play gym with slides, tunnels, climbing net walls, a ball pit and trampolines. It is not a huge gym but big enough for ten to fifteen kids to play comfortably in. Next to the gyms are toys of all sorts – kitchen supplies and soft foam puzzles and a few toddler entertainers like swings and push cars. In front to the gym is a café selling coffee, chips and juice. Lots of little tables and chairs near the café make it look like an ideal place for a kid’s party. At the other end of the huge space are a few book shelves with toys for sale sorted by age. The collection is not intensive but is interesting and there are a few puzzles that I plan to pick up for an eight year old from there.

Price Structure:

Rs 100 for 45 min of play

Rs 150 for 1hour of play + a cup of coffee + a drink (slice) + a pack of chips

Rs 200 All above + a surprise gift.

I took the Rs 150 package. While I paid Ashvin attacked the jungle gym. I joined him in there for a bit but the presence of other kids and a really helpful supervisor let me escape for my cup of coffee. I spent the rest of the time looking at their ‘store section’, taking photos, making faces at Ashvin and looking through their party packages.

The one in Marthahalli seems to be work in progress. Half the area seems to be undergoing some remodeling but this is shielded well and not obvious unless you walk around  and peek. It looks like a promising space with a lot of potential. Once they have more traffic and staff hopefully they will get regular pottery and other classes going for kids.

If Ashvin were to write the review I am sure he would say it was awesome. He had fun, so much fun that when his one hour was done he want  more time. As he is the one that matters at the Monkey Maze I’d say they have a good thing going and will see us back soon.

Address:

2ND Floor, Above Pizza Hut, Next To Purva Foundation Square, Varthur Main Road, Marathahalli, Bangalore - 560037

Phone:                 +(91)-(80)-40957631      

                                +(91)-9901117908

Email: www.monkeymaze.in

Hours of operation: 11:00 am - 08:00 pm everyday

Birthday Package details (please email them for the most up-to-date) please take a look at - http://kindazesty.blogspot.com/2011/09/monkey-maze-birthday-party-options.html

Memories of Childhood – Ashvin cuts his hair

When I was six years old I had given someone a hair cut. The "someone" happened to be my best friend’s four year old brother. I had him sit on the stairs and gave him a comprehensive hair cut. Not a snip here or there. I made sure I took the scissors all over and all around. The results I guess was a disaster especially as it required my mother to apologize and a barber was immediately called over. He looked like he had his head shaved after the ‘real’ hair cut and I was banned from EVER touching scissors.

Yesterday, my four year old was watching Lion King. I took a bath and on walking back into the room saw three clumps of hair on the floor. He was sitting at the edge of the bed and there was more hair near his feet. He was still watching Lion King but in his hand were a pair of small scissors. I know worse could have happened – lot worse happens with scissors – and I am luckier than my mom, I did not have to take him home to his mom.

Circle of Life I guess J

Not an artist but a mom for sure.

Ankit is growing up. Not quite a kid. Not quite a grown up. A preteen. He is not always sure of what he wants. Not sure if he is happy or not. Not sure if he wants to give in and enjoy the moment like his four year old brother is doing or hold back and be all adult like about it. Our trip to Claytopia had all these elements. He was not hungry and he did not want to paint any of the ceramic pieces. He, as he put it, was not sad but just did not want to do anything.

My ceramic painting rule is that they paint things they will use; I am not getting another half painted dinosaur. Ashvin picked up a bowl and within a few minutes the kid in Ankit peeked out and he chose a plate. Then the adult in Ankit emerged as he looked at the design book and chose a complicated sponge design to replicate.

While Ashvin made little spots and stripes Ankit sponged and labored on an orange and yellow background. It looked good. Then he went extra creative and made some blue dots. The paint ran and smudged and that did not look too good. And the sulky preteen monster that seems to be constantly lurking around kicked in.

So, I did what mothers do - especially when terrified by a prospective sulking preteen - came up with a way to salvage it. We were going to draw sea creatures out of the blue blobs. That was what I suggested and was met with a ‘whatever’ look.

It started with fishes. Then slightly amused and beginning to smile Ankit suggested a turtle. I managed to draw one. Then I snuck in an octopus. It had like a “Hey Dude, what’s up” look and this made both of us break out laughing. A weird oyster was added and I had to google a shrimp image before the plate was complete.

The plate here is proof that I am not an artist of any sort. I wish I had a photo of Ankit and me cracking up at the octopus cause that is proof enough that I am a mom. 

                                                          

                                                   *********************************

Claytopia details and review at : http://kindazesty.blogspot.com/2011/08/claytopia-review-place-to-make-memories.html

Claytopia review– a place to make memories.

I have made four trips to Claytopia so far and everytime I like it even more. The first was to check it out for a birthday party. I ended up looking around and eating at their bistro making a mental note to return. The next three trips of mine were with the kids.

Claytopia Bistro in Indiranagar is in their words:

A fun place to hang out and have good food, while indulging your creativity. The Bistro is attached to Studio Claytopia, a "Paint your own pottery" studio.You can paint on white bisque ware,which is the base required for you to color your ceramic ware. Once you choose from the various molds we have, we provide you with the colors, brushes, palettes, stencils, stamps, books etc. to color with; you can sit all day and paint. After this we glaze it and fire it to 1100 degrees Celsius and return it to you in 10 days. Your masterpiece is ready!
You can do this while indulging in our delicious food, like burgers, pastas, sandwiches, subs, salads, soups, all day breakfast, waffles, pancakes, desserts, coffees and more.... 

There are many ceramic pieces to choose from – little show pieces to utilitarian things like trays, plates, cups, vases etc. The price for the pieces ranges from Rs 250 up and is inclusive of paint, glazing etc. For the first two visits I let the kids choose whatever they wanted but now I have a rule – you have to choose something you can use. I can only have so many dinosaurs and rabbits around the house.

Table all setup.

Once you choose a piece you get to choose four colours per piece (you are allowed to share colours so the more people you have the more colours you have). They have tables indoors, outside and even at their bistro and you decide where to sit. The paper covered table is ladened with paint brushes, stencils, and design books to help unleash your creativity. Beautifully painted ceramics decorate the walls and even the trees around you. The ambience, inspiration and material are all there for you.

I have only been there during weekdays so I can’t vouch for busy weekends or times when there are birthday parties but we had all the time we needed. Enough time that I went through two cups of coffee and ordered snacks for the kids as they carefully worked on their masterpieces.

Soup, pasta, shakes to help the artist work.
Pretty coffee for the mom.

Quick note on the food – I love their burgers – spicy chicken one and coffee. The children gobbled up the cheese toast and pasta. While I was delighted to see thukpa ( tibetian noodle soup) on their menu I must say it was a disappointment but their ores milkshake (so so good) more than made up for it.

Once the painting and eating is done the pieces are taken away for drying and glazing. The process takes ten days so you have to come back to pick up the pieces and if you are like us you end up painting another piece and the cycle continues J

So all in all it is not cheap. With food and ceramic pieces you end up paying around Rs  400 - 500 per person but you do end up with a full stomach, an afternoon of fun and a maybe an artistic but for sure a personalized cup, plate, paper weight of some sort.

An afternoons worth of work.

The best part is once you are done you can walk around and see all the pieces waiting to be collected. In nooks and shelves piled high. They are not delicate. They are not out of design books. They are not the kind that decorate the walls. But they are just like yours. Little smudged, little chaotic, very imperfect but under the glaze you see it – an afternoon of fun.

Address:

Claytopia
318, 6th Main
HAL 2nd Stage
Indiranagar, Bangalore 560 038

Tel: 080 412 67163
Free home delivery no: 080 41323394

Email: claytopia@gmail.com

FB Page: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000110173278

Options and Price List for Birthday Parties:

Part of Bistro

Tiles decorate the entrance.

Siblings

Just watched Ankit and Ashvin to share a chocolate bar. It reminded me of the jif peanut butter ad - As a mom this is one of my favorite ads:

It is funny how you grow up and getting the biggest piece isn't important anymore.

Teppanyaki Learnings

We went for our first teppanyaki experience in India at Shiro, at UB City in Bangalore. Ankit and Ashvin and I were seated at a table hosted by Chef Alvin. Alvin started his intro with something out of Alvin and the chipmunks and had the kids – literally – eating out of his hands in a few minutes. The kids loved everything he made – the veggies, fried rice and chicken in ginger and scallion sauce. Their adulation seemed to have really added fuel to his showmanship desires. He rolled eggs dangerously on the spatula, close to the kids and even bought out a fake egg that made the kids squeal first in fear and then in delight. He sold Shiro to me. He sold teppanyaki and Shiro to the kids. We returned there for Ankit’s birthday dinner and Alvin went out of his way to make him feel special. He had him at the cooking counter, had him dance and juggle eggs. He made Ankit happy and me even happier. The onion volcano at the end had Ashvin hero worshipping him.

Then Alvin went away. We realized that when we made reservations at the restaurant this weekend. There was someone blah enough that I do not remember his name. Blah to me is normal. He cooked the food decently. He did try and cook up eggs separately for the kids cause Ashvin wanted it. But he was not Alvin. He was about the food not the teppanyaki experience. He did not go out of way to make a memory.  If he had been our first chef I am not sure I would have gone back to the teppanyaki table at Shiro again. I am not sure Ankit or Ashvin would have liked that particular “cusine”

Just goes to show what one person can do. Goes to show that a job worth doing is doing well. Value the Alvins you have at work. They are selling your product in ways you don’t know.

You are going to die Mommy.

I have had the death conversation before. I have been told I am going to die. It seems somehow when they are around four kids decide that people die when they are a hundred years old. It freaks them out.

Ankit had reached this conclusion and discussed it during a car ride. People die at a hundred, he told me. I said “Ok”. He was not amused at my dismissive reply and adamantly said – “They die Mummy” I still said “OK”. “You will die Mummy, your mom and dad too”, he said. Then I realized how serious he was about it. He wanted me to know how bad it was to him.

He was the scientific one so we decided he’d grow up and research how to stop death. It kinda stopped him freaking out but he did improve his math skills – he’d ask people their age and then tell them how many years before they died unless he found a way to save them. We kept him away from old folks.

Ashvin bought this topic up yesterday in the car.

“Mummy, do people die when they are a 100,” he asked

I had heard this before so I was a little nicer – “Some people do but not everyone”

“But everyone dies right?” was the reply.

“Yes baby” I tried being nice.

“You are going to die Mommy”

“Yes baby” I did not like it but I had heard it before.

“I don’t want to die”

I was quiet as I thought of how to spin it to this one.

As chirpy and positive as he is he quickly replied “I will only celebrate my birthday till I am twenty. No more birthdays after that.”

He does not know the legal drinking age, I am sure he will change it to 21 soon and hopefully by then his older brother would have found a way to stop death.

And as for me - I am going to be 28 for a few more years, so I think I'll be ok.

God – what does he eat?

God - as seen and drawn by Ashvin.
He - God-  is behind the cloud.

There has been a sudden interest in God by Ashvin. It started with him gently prodding me. “Where were people borned from before there were any mommy’s and daddys?” He sneaked this in slyly one night as I was putting him to bed. I looked confused so he clarified “All people are born in houses to Mommy’s and Daddy’s, but before there were any Mommys and Daddys how were people borned?” I was stumped for a bit (read "Why are moms dumb" to understand my dilemma).  I tried to buy some time and said I’d look it up and tell him in the morning. Then I heard him whisper “God”. “What?” I asked, “God” was a matter of fact reply. I felt cheated. I did not know I could use the God card.

Ashvin joins his dad many a time in folding his hand in prayer. He is respectful in temples but we had never had a God discussion before. I am not religious but do value God. I pray when I am scared – recite the Lord’s prayer that was ingrained into me in my years at a Christian boarding school.  I ask him to get me to places faster when I am running late. Twice on a rocky plane ride I think I said “Sorry for all I have done” under my breath. But I can’t explain God and I really do not believe enough to be strongly convinced in presenting any theory.

That night I let God slide in and since then he has been featured in many a conversation. What does God eat? Why is he transparent? Does he always live above the clouds? I don’t want to remove God from his life but I also don’t know how to tell him stories from Hindu mythology and from the Bible when I know I will get more questions. I also have Ankit listening in to add to the grilling. These are the times I wish I was actually religious and convinced about some Godly stance.

But, In a way I am glad he sneaked God into our lives cause it is much easier to explain many things to a pre-schooler – pregnancy, love, evil, why he can’t get all the toys he wants – when you have the God trump card J

And, what does God eat? I flipped the questions to Ashvin – “Nothing” he said. Makes sense. We eat all the stuff we offer to God. Never seen even a nibble gone.

I was gone for two weeks and he grew up two years.

Ankit was behaving like a eleven year old ( most of the time) when I left from my two week trip. I returned expecting a eleven year old.
.............


I showed a photo of mine to Ankit. He looked at it and said - "I saw it on Facebook." "You are a lot on Facebook", I commented. "Mom, I am almost a teenager what do you expect?" was a quick reply.

Later I was making him a grilled cheese sandwich. Ashvin made some smart comment and ran out of the kitchen. "I wonder where that monkey came from" I sighed. Ankit smiled, "I have a good comeback for that mummy, I would have said it to my friends but you are my mom... and you are cooking me a sandwich"

With the sandwich in hand we were watching TV and I commented on an Indian actor - Salman Khan - and how he has been in the industry for a long time. Ankit said - "Back in my time we had his movies too."  It made me laugh.

In the two weeks I was gone he grew up two inches and a whole generation. I have comeback to a preteen.