Oye, you are not a foreigner?

1. I asked for a guide and autowalla in English. They talked among themselves in Hindi sure that I was a foreigner. The discussion was about how much to overcharge me. When asked about the fare I said - "Teen sau chalayga?" (Will 300 do?). Surprised and realizing I had understood the whole discussion I got away with Rs 350, unlike a Spanish guy who paid Rs750.

2. My autowalla knew I knew Hindi but was not sure how well I spoke it. Unexpectedly just before we reached the Queens palace he switched to Hindi "Lets talk a little in Hindi", he said. His Hindi was bad, worse than mine for sure but we went back and forth about the palace a little. "Good" he said in English. "Now madam when you go to buy a ticket, talk in Hindi. It will cost you Rs 10. If you talk in English you pay Rs 250"
Look foreign, talk foreign then you pay foreign :)

3. A crowd of young men were posing for photos. One walked over and asked me - "Ma'am, photo please." "Ok" I said, holding out my hand for the camera. I mean they wanted a group photo right? "No, ma'am. You take photo with us".
What???
This happened five times during the day."Don't take offence," the autowalla explained, "they have not seen foreigners before. You are a tourist attraction for them."
 I must say on refusing most walked away politely. I really did not want to be shown as the foreign 'Humpi girlfriend' in some village.

4. Walking through the Queen's bath - a 15th Century swimming pool - I was surrounded by children. I had been shaking hand with them all day (see point 3). Some had come voluntarily and some had been pushed along by their parents - "Shake hands, say Hello". Just then a really white woman - blond hair and all walked in. I was amused to see a crowd bigger than mine following her. And then some of mine deserted me too !!! ;)

5. At the end of the day I was sitting at the platform looking through photos of the day on my iphone. Suddenly I realized there were some five people peering and "wowing" at the photos. "Ipod hai" "Very nice shot" I heard it all. I was tempted to shoo them away. Then I gave in to my exhibitionist side - I mean there was ready audience that did not care that half my friends and their SLRs shot things way better than this. I showed them photos from Seattle, of Rainer and paragliding, of fireworks. They were amazed and I was amused for the five minutes before the train showed up and I was not such a foreigner anymore.

For details on the trip read - 32 hours Bangalore to Hampi and back

I don't know (not very light reading)

I am on a train to Hampi. On the way to the station I passed an Indian bakery. The cookies on display looked so good but so calorie ladened. I wanted to buy just two pieces but they wouldn't sell less than 250 grams. Greed won and I bought the minimum  250 grams required.

The cookies were warm, smelt good and I was enjoying the anticipation of eating them when I saw an old invalid woman- the skinniest most unfortunate person I had seen in a long time. Bangalore has it's share of beggars but none i have seen have come close to her.

She was dragging herself across the platform with her one good arm and leg. Her thighs were skinner than my arms. She was pushing a plastic bag in front of her but she was not begging.

The 250gm minimum seemed so appropriate as I took out my two cookies and gave her the rest. She did not look at me as she put it in the bag in front of her. Feeling happier I crossed over to my platform.

Ten minutes later - after I had looked at all the charts and people on my platform- I looked across and saw her again. She had moved some ten feet. She had neared a family of three sitting on a bench. The parents stood up and walked away. Their little boy stopped looked and was pulled along by his mom.

My train's arrival was announced and I felt helpless. I quickly walked over to the refreshment stand a bought a bottle of juice. Knowing I had but a few minutes I ran up the stairs and to the platform she was on. I handed her the juice and a hundred rupees. She put the juice in her bag and started at the note. Feeling conscious and worried about time I crossed over back to my platform. I saw her give her bag another push before I boarded my train.

I had wanted to see her eat and drink. I don't know what lies outside the station for her - a home or a slumdog millionaire gang. I don't know if she will drink the juice, don't know if the money will be robbed off her. I don't know.

Logically I should have not given her money but donated to an NGO that helps many such people. It is hard though to be logical when you feel helpless and guilty.

I think I tried to do something so I could sleep easy. It is 1 am and sleep isn't coming. Must be the noise of the train. I really don't know.

Why I am internally happier in India

I am happier here. I miss Seattle and friends and my home there but internally I am happier in India. A blog by a friend - Watching a blind man  and my recent visit to Seattle made me realize why.

In Seattle I want. In India I have.

In Seattle I was driving out of our community –

• past a beautifully landscaped garden – I made a mental note of the fertilizer and weed killer I had NOT bought. I would also get a few more shrubs for the backyard.
• past a house with the man on the roof, cleaning it – Peeyush would NOT do that. Got me thinking of all the Indian guys I knew and who would get on and clean the roof, put up Christmas lights and paint the deck. None was the answer.
• past a skinny fit woman in Lululemon joggers running uphill faster than I run downhill. NOT something I could do.
• past a hot air balloon in the sky. I looked longingly at it. I had NOT done that before. I wanted to.

In a five minute drive I had seen a lot I wanted and did not have.

In India, I don’t drive but when I am driven out

• past the crowd waiting at the bus stop at the end of a long day I feel thankful of the car I have.
•  past the shack that is a store during the day and a home at night I can’t but reflect on the beautiful spacious home I have.
• past the vendors selling cheap fried food to people that will never see a gym I think of my personal trainer, the food cooked at home and the fact that I have the time and means to exercise.
•  past the liquor store and see the line of men getting their supply for the night, I am glad I have a husband who wants to come home and loves his family.
• past the beggars and the panipuri wala with a plastic bag on his head ready for the rain as I walk into pub for drinks with friends. I feel lucky about the opportunities I have and the people I know.

I know you could look at a lot of this in India and be saddened by it. But internally I cannot be sad. I am just too lucky, too privileged; I have so much that it would be an insult to luck/fate/God to be sad. I don’t deserve to be sad. I just can’t be sad. 



PS:  When I was going to move here in a discussion with someone who had moved I said that I was scared as I'd be saddened by seeing some of the things here. He said a very nice thing - you can be sad or do something about it.
I volunteer full time and try to ensure that I do the best i can for people that I come in contact with. That does help me sleep better that night.
This post is about being grateful. Really now I am less wanting and way more grateful and satisfied with what I have.

A weekend trip – Bangalore to Wayanad

One of my biggest complaints about Bangalore is the lack of things to do during the weekend in town. You can go to places like the mall or the zoo but during the weekend they are super-packed. As I am not one to sit and complain I have decided to do what I think is one of the best things In Bangalore – its surroundings. I have many trips planned. This weekend it was Wayanad.

The trip to Wayanad came into being by getting a link to Exotic Expeditions on Facebook. They had a trip coming up on the weekend. I called them up to find out if this was a kid friendly trip. Santosh – who runs this outfit – was extremely helpful and accommodating. After answering my questions I decided we would join them with my two kids ( 4 and 12) and two maids. Santosh dropped by the next day and picked up the payment for the trek.

Logistics:

Rs 2800 per person – inclusive of almost everything on the trip - transport, lodging, most food and all activities.

Pick up : MG Road at 10pm Friday

Drop Off: MG Road 10pm Sunday.

On Friday I found out that other people supposed to be joining us on the trek had dropped but Santosh did not bail on us. He got a Qualis that accommodated my group and another person who joined us. We left Bangalore around 10pm and after a few stops made it to Wayanad at 8:30am.

Stay in Wayanad: Hill View homestay. Basic homestay with clean big rooms and awesome food. The owner was a very nice welcoming man who fed us well and made sure we were comfortable.The homestay is not on any plantation but by a road. The rooms are on the first floor but it has a nice rooftop with a view. Not fancy but very comfortable and I must say we had a very nice time there.

Day 1:

The plan of the day was to first visit Meenmurty waterfalls. Meenmurty is  three kilometer roundtrip trek. Not a huge distance but pretty steep and thus not recommended for kids. We sent the kids and the maids off to Pookot lake for a boat ride while the rest of us went on the hike. After the boat ride they went on a plantation walk - seeing coffee, tea and cardamom trees.

After the hike we had a good Kerala style lunch at Santosh Hotel and joined the kids at Soochipara falls. This waterfall was more accessible and easy to reach – half a kilometer walk maybe. We all played in the water and lounged on the rocks here for a long time.

Day 2:

Trip to Eddkal Caves – steep walk to come interesting and very old caves. They had carvings from 3000BC. There were juice and snack stall all along the way and besides enjoying the caves and the view from the top we really enjoyed pickled pineapple, mango and amla. There were monkeys that entertained us along the way and watching one eating a jackfruit off the tree was fun.

Phantom Rock: After the caves we visited phantom rock. It would have been great to climb it and I did see one local man lounging up there. We however walked through a rubber plantation, watched frogs swim in puddles and enjoyed the scenic view before walking back.

We stopped for lunch at Sultana Bathery and then drove all the way back to Bangalore. Reaching at 10pm.

Long story short. This was a great weekend getaway. Nicely arranged and executed. I will be going on more trip with them in the near future I am sure. 

Exotic Expeditions

811, 8th block, NGEF Layout, Near Old Madras Road Big Bazaar, Bangalore, India 560038

Phone	9986450370

Familiarity - Hey the car wash guy said Hi

We visited Seattle this summer after a year of being in Bangalore. First day there I took the kids for lunch to Red Robin and ran into Sue – Ankit’s old Tae Kwon Do master’s wife. I was at Mayuri later that evening and ran into a few folks from my Microsoft days. The next day few days I kept bumping into people around every corner - Costco, Whole Foods and the Kirkland waterfront. These were accidental meetups, running into familiar people without any plans. When I visited my old workplace I felt like I had never left it. The last straw was when I went to get the car washed at my favorite place (Flamingo car wash before Costco is awesome) the guy there asked me where I had gone, had I left Seattle? The car wash guy!!!  I mean if he remembers you then at some point you belonged there.

During my trip to Seattle I realized that this is something I really missed. Belonging and knowing, being familiar.

Then a few days ago we went to the mall here. We stopped to eat pani puris on the way, the pani puri guy knows us now and even tries to give us extra free pani puris. Then we met the woman who runs the music school Ankit learns piano at. A little chat ensued. At the mall we ran into Ashvin’s friends and his parents. We had a lovely unplanned walk around the mall with them before they dropped us home. Today the pani puri guy was as nice and then at the mall while getting Ashvin’s hair cut the hairdresser asked “Peeyush sir has not been here recently”.

Not quite close to Seattle but we are getting there. I mean one pani puri dude plus a hair dresser is pretty close to a car wash guy.

Underestimated

BOSS Utah, August 2010

Over the last year I have started hiking quite a bit. Way more than I did before and I have signed up for some tough trips. On reaching Utah for an Outdoor Survival week long trip we were made to run 1.5 miles. I was the last one to finish it. On the last day of camp one of my team mates told me of his first impression – how he was sure I would never make it. A female - slightly chubby mother of two - did seem odd there. Then he said – “… and I totally underestimated you. I spent half the trip wishing you’d slow down.”

Tuhalli - BMC Trip
Photo by Rewat Tuladhar

This weekend I did the same. I saw a family with a 65 year old grandfather, an overweight grandmother, four children join us for a rappelling and rock climbing trip. It was for beginners but I rolled my mental eye and wondered how they were going to manage and why they were there. The grandpa rappelled with a smile on his face -very cool for his first time. The grandma carried a big stick and made it all the way to see the little ones give it a shot. I stood there humbled and mentally corrected.

We do it all the time – judge people, situations, things. There is this voice in the head that talks faster than you want it to. You see a woman crossing the street and you have a running commentary on her clothes, weight, hair, or even the way she walks. Usually the voice is pretty mean. Peeyush had read a book once and told me about it – to jot down what comes in your head as your go along all day long. Do it honestly and you’ll be surprised. We judge everyone and everything.

I realized something very interesting when I came back from my Everest Base Camp trek. The tone of judgment depends on how happy and secure you are with your life. Not happy like “oh this dessert is good happy” but like “I love myself happy”.  I was very happy and extremely proud of myself. I loved myself physically and mentally and I remember my thoughts about others being nice. I was less judgmental about people’s looks and thought more about what their lives were like. I would sit in the mall and think of happy stories about people that walked by. On days I skip the gym or feel bad about my career I know I am way nastier in my head about everything. I guess we make negative judgments’ about other people so we can feel better about ourselves.

And about me being underestimated? I kinda like it. I mean I can only wow people at that point. When you are at the bottom the only way is up.

Hiking around Bangalore: Another trip with Ankit and BMC

Ankit and I went for a day trip via BMC to Turalli  today- It was a hiking-rockclimbing-rappelling trip for newbies and sounded perfect for a twelve year old.
It was a 7am - 6:30pm trip with all arrangements - transport, food, guide and equipment - for Rs 900 pp.

The not so good part:

1. It turned out to be a trip of twenty nine people. I had made the mistake of booking last minute and not asking how many people were on the trip. As this is a long weekend here I should have expected this. I do not like huge groups of people to go on such trips so was a little overwhelmed. This also meant you had less time to do an activity as you were waiting for people.
2. Trash - as usual there was plenty of it on this trail too. Broken whiskey bottles and plastic clogged puddles of water.
3. Random groups of  men drinking and  playing cards - many with their shirts off. This seems to be a popular activity in this area - come on your bike, drink, play cards and leave all your trash behind. Made me feel happy I was part of a big group and not here alone.

 The great parts :

1. 
   

1. As usual BMC arranged everything ( inspite of the large number of people) very nicely. Timely pickup and drop off. Good food and a great rock climbing instructor.
2. As stated in the trek description this was for newbies and there were plenty of kids on this trip and they all had a great time.
3. Made some good friends - Ankit has one over for sleepover tonight. He clicked with the kid and me with the mom. Similar people do similar activities. Met some other really interesting people too.
4. I know I cribbed about the large group. It interfered with my hiking ideals but it did show me something that has kept me smiling all day long - a family with three generations joined us. Grandparents, parents, aunt and uncle and four kids. The grandma was old and was helped along the trek with the help of a stick and family members. The grandpa - at 65 - rappelled and climbed a boulder. The kids cheered them and they clapped for the kids. I really had not seen this in India before. Just showed me another moment where I misjudged a traditionally dressed family.

So all in all - glad I spent another day out with Ankit. We walked and talked and had fun. I'll look for a smaller group next time but once again am happy BMC is here - helps me go into the jungles of Bangalore with its semi-clad 'trashy' dudes without any worries.