When I was a little…

Ashvin washing up in a pond.

The fifth time I uttered these words in two days I realized that I was happy but more importantly - I was growing old. This is something sure to happen to you if you take your kids someplace time slowed down at and retrace a few steps of your childhood. We went to a village a few days back.

On the train ride there I told Ankit how at his age I loved getting up on the top berth and reading books all night long.

Hours later, as we boarded the local bus, there was the story of me rushing to the back seats of  buses with my friends. Those seats threw you high up when the bus went over potholes. It was like a rollercoaster.

I think I held back my excitement and did not utter ‘when I was little’ till we reached our bed and breakfast and stood near a mango tree. The little raw mangoes bought back too many memories and another story of how we stole them. About how un-ladylike I was as I lifted up my skirt to carry as many as I could back home (I was five).



Walking along some fields.

 The next day we walked through paddy fields and had to cross a few irrigation trenches. I had spent many days in fields behind my grandmother’s house creating little dams and watching our slippers float down the tiny canals. My kids got to hear all about it.

Then sugarcane sticks showed up and another story followed as I demonstrated the steps - peel, gnaw, spit – to eating a fresh piece of sugarcane.

There were many more moments like that and when I finally got time to reflect I realized somewhere in all of this, I felt happy, I felt like a kid and then I felt really old.

I kill at night and I enjoy it

His ears are looking exceptionally big due to my bad
 shot and also due to the mosquito bite. I kill for him.

I switched the fan off. It was hot but the swirling wind would not let it settle in a place long enough. Also the whirring of the fan made it hard for me to hear it. The still fresh red swelling on Ashvin's ear was a clear indication of its presence. Like every night I was puzzled by a lone mosquito making it past the netted window into our bedroom. Puzzled is always my first reaction to it, almost as if I do not want to believe or acknowledge its presence. 

Then strategizing starts.

With the fan off, I present some bare flesh for it to land on. My left arm is the fleshy choice of the day.  Then I listen and watch and wait. It is usually not long for a creature with a brain that tiny to give in and come whirling along. What is surprising for its brain size - its swift reaction time.

On a good night I can kill one in midair – before it lands on me. Today is a bad night and it darts away as I smack myself nice and hard – again and again. I see it flying away, towards a wall. I jump off the bed and follow it. It lands on the wall and I smack it. I smack it harder than I smacked my arm. A spot of blood on my hand - mine and Ashvin's I think, a little creeped out – is a vibrant sign of success. I switch the fan on as I go to wash my hand. The hunt is over and I feel satisfied, victorious, and very pleased with the amazing mosquito killer I am.

Disparity - dealing with the maid's child (not so light reading)

We live amongst a few rather affluent people. The kids here all visit the US or UK or some similar place every year. They go to high end schools, are well versed with the Wii and latest gadgets, and all have good manners. They are rich kids. In a house down the road there are three children. These are the children of the cook and maid of the house. They live in two rooms attached to the house. The oldest amongst them is Sapna, one of Ashvin's best friends. Sapna is not a rich kid. In India there is a huge difference between rich and not rich.
As she sometimes does, Sapna joined us for a walk today. We went to the mall and had an ice cream each. We walked around a bit and then Ashvin had to use the restroom. As wanting to use the loo seems to be contagious amongst kids we all queued up at the family restroom. When Sapna was done I asked her if she had washed her hands. She said no, she did not know how the get the tap to work. I showed her how to move her hands so the motion detector would kick in. Then I asked her to use the soap pump and hand washing was done. From the corner of my eye I saw Ankit watching all this – very attentively. I had seen the same look when I had taught her to use a fork on a visit to pizza hut.
Ankit had only seen equals amongst kids before he came to India. In Sammamish there was little discrepancy in social or financial standing amongst kids. How strict your parents were was the biggest delimiting factor. Here I have watched him sometimes watch attentively and at other times look away when he encounters children financially different from him. He has mentioned he is more grateful for what he has and once even chided Peeyush for grumbling about having a lousy day. On his way to school, Ankit had seen a little girl – barely six he said – trying to chop wood. For a few days he allowed no grumbling in the house. We had no right to grumble he said.
Sapna is well fed and clothed; she goes to school and speaks English really well. She is a happy child. I am not sure what the implications of my taking her to restaurants and teaching her about things alien to her are going to be. Will it embed in her a want to achieve all that or will she be dissatisfied with the life she has. I am not sure if I should do something more, something less. For now, I try to see her just as Ashvin's friend and I try to treat her as I would another friend of his.
And from the corner of my eye I watch Ankit, attentively, to ensure he stays sensitive and does not let the frequency and commonality of the Sapna's around him numb him.

Hiking around Bangalore

I have been on two hikes in Bangalore. Just two but they have been such good experiences that I am planning on tripling that count shortly. This is mainly due to BMC Bangalore  (Bangalore Mountaineering Club) that arranges hikes – a day hike, a night hike and a two day hike – EVERY weekend. I love them. They arrange for food, transportation and a guide. They are awesome.

The first hike I went on was to SavanDurga. It was an 'adventure' hike and consisted of a short trek, cave exploring some rappelling, zip lining and kayaking. I took Ankit ( 11 years old) with me and it worked out great, though it is advisable to have a chat with BMC before taking a child on a trek. There were seven other people besides us and we had a great day. A really good start for a preteen on a proper day hike.

For my second hike I chose a night hike. No Ankit on this one. The pickup was at 9:30pm and we were dropped back to Bangalore at 11am. This was to NarayanGiri and was a short – too short for my liking – hike up a big boulder hill. Snuggling in a sleeping bag ( provided by BMC), chatting with newly made friends, watching lights go off and on while waiting for the sunrise was worth the disappointing hike. The other amusing and entertaining disappointment was a group of nine girls that joined the hike to celebrate someone's birthday. Not hikers by choice they provided a lot of laughter with their questions, whining and lack of decent footwear. They did provide all the material for my post – How not to hike like a girlie girl.

When moving here I was scared about places to hike and visit. I am not comfortable enough to do this on my own (or just me and my kids). Not knowing the language, lack of trails and a safety number to call are all deterrents. However, the presence of groups like BMC really help – with Rs 700 all inclusive hikes. At this point this is working great for me and I am looking forward to a lot more boulders to climb around Bangalore.

Dealing with queues in India – Hey, I was in line!!!

I was in line to buy some ice cream. Just as it was my turn and I was about to step forward, a guy jumped in front of me from nowhere and placed his order. I was surprised and angry. This was not the first time this happened to me. The first few times I had kept my anger bottled in and caused a little ulcer so this time I asked him – "Where did you come from? I am in line." He said "Sorry, I did not see a line. " Well, I was part of a big fat line right there. Mistake I had made – fallen prey to the US personal space concept and not stepped right up nudging the person in front of me as he was done.
There are two types of queues in Indian – the long snaky kind and the crowd line. In both you have to watch your spot and stick to the person in front of you.

Attacking the Crowd Queue: Often people line up horizontally and laterally at a counter so you have a "crowd queue". At that point everyone thrusts money out and yells. Seems pretty inefficient to me. Especially inefficient as I generally end up getting nowhere in these situations. After losing out a few times I have figured out my strategy – get in between two women (if you are woman that is) and squeeze yourself in. It is a like a massage maze. Don't be shy and if you are totally creeped out think of a nice shower once you get home (I will discuss India and its fascination with talcum powder and aversion to deodorant someday). Think of it as a challenge - part of Amazing Race or whatever rocks your boat. Then see if waving a Rs. 500 note or exact change is more likely to get their attention. Shyness will not get you far. Map, plot and attack it like a game. At the end of such an event you are most likely to get a token. A receipt or a coin that you need to take to another counter… and another crowd queue.
Navigating a snaky queue: These are usually long and everywhere. If you are female try looking for a ladies queue. Get over your aversion to violating personal space and having yours violated. Feel free however to stamp the feet of anyone of the opposite sex getting too close. It works as a good warning sign. Then the goal is to stick to the person in front of you and not let others get in. Also it is very advisable to bring extra family members and seed them in parallel queues.
I am going to take the kids on a train tomorrow. Today's minor loss in the queue world has me all prepped up to take on anyone and anything that resembles a queue. If my being polite does not work I will nudge and push and maybe even don a Lady Gaga costume (shock and awe).  Bangalore station - queue one up for me.

I like brown and no I don't want to be bleached.



The whitening creams make you white - instantly.
Like chalk on your face white. Looks more white in person.

 Once in a park in Sammamish a little boy walked up to me and asked me who I was. Ankit was in the park so I pointed to him and said “His mom.” The little boy was not convinced. “You can’t be. He is white and you are black” he said. Black. Hmm. I was brown, not black, but to give due credit to him - in that park I was the blackest person.

 Bleaching is the Indian equivalent of tanning in the US. It is rather popular in India but bleach? Me? I could have digested this offer in the park in Sammamish where I stood black in the very white park. In the parlor where I was the white person, I sat startled and amused.

No, I did not get my face bleached (maybe near Halloween if Michael Jackson is still hep this year) but between the bleach offer, and constant skin lightening commercials on TV and that little boy's comment in the park I have been feeling rather dark brown these days. The good part is I love dark brown. I love all shades of brown. Black and White too.




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It is interesting how skin color preference differs between India and the US. I don't think there is anything wrong as long there is no prejeduce associated with it. I have not seen a single tanning bed or "sun tan" parlor in India. While in the US I did not see one commercial for a skin lightening cream. The grass is always a shade better on the other side.

International, CBSE/ICSE, Alternative, Home – Options for schools in Bangalore

Good schools in Bangalore can cost you between INR 50K – 9.75 Lakhs a year ($1000 to $21,000). The class size varies from 20 – 55 children in the class. Most schools have a bus and lunch service. The curriculum varies from ICSE/CBSE to IB/ IGCSE (see legend at the end of the post) to "Curriculum prescribed by the Ontario Ministry of Education". Like the cost and curriculum there is a huge variation in teaching style but there are options. That is the part I iterate on the most – now in India there are options.

When we moved here I was rather lost on where to start a school search. I knew what ICSE and CBSE were but little about IB and IGCSE. Considering that my children are rather ( ahem … very…) weak in Hindi (a requirement for ICSE and CBSE schools) we opted for an International school. Even with international schools the choices in Bangalore are plenty. What they offer and their fees can vary a lot.
Reviews from friends of the school and its location were both criteria that made us zone in on TISB.

During our search here we were not completely aware of the alternative schools present in Bangalore. I had heard of the Valley school and love the concept but I also know Ankit well – he does well in a structured competitive environment - so making the decision to keep him in a school similar to one he was in Seattle seemed like the right choice.

Besides these options, twice in the last month, I have met moms that discussed homeschooling with me. This used to be an alien concept in India but seems to be a budding trend. There is a group in Bangalore that caters to such parents and it has over a 100 members.
Below is a breakdown of schools into International, Traditional and Alternative. The fees are just what I found from looking around so please use them to get a rough idea. I came across some good blogs/reviews and have linked them too. Let me know if you see any corrections or have any comments.

	Location	Curriculum		Cost per year in INR (Approx.)	School year	Blogs/Reviews
International Schools http://blog.bangaloreschools.net/2008/05/24/moving-to-bangalore-expat-school-options-in-bangalore/ http://www.edu.pushpi.com/international-schools-in-bangalore.htm
TISB – The International School of Bangalore	South Sarjapur Road	IGCSE IB		RF: 250K YF: 400K to 600K	August - June	BangaloreSchools.net
Indus	South Sarjapur Road	IGCSE IB		350K	August - June
StoneHill	North Jala Hobli	IB		RF:250K YF:365K to 975K	August - June
Canadian International	Yelahanka	OME IB		RF: 25K YF:310K to 510K	August - June
Ryan International	Multiple locations	ICSE		60K to 90K	June- March
GreenWood High	South Sarjapur Road	ICSE & IGCSE		100K to 180K	June- March
Inventure Academy	South Sarjapur Road	ICSE & IGCSE		RF:60K YF: 1,00K to 215K	June-March	Parentree.com
Indian/Traditional School
National Public School	Multiple locations	CBSE	YF:66K		June-March
Bishop Cottons	St. Mark's Road	ICSE	RF: Varies YF: 30K		June-March
St Joseph's Boys High School	St. Mark's Road	ICSE	RF:25K YF:24K		June-March
Delhi Public School	Multiple locations	CBSE	RF: Varies YF: 60K		June-March
Alternative Schools
Valley School	Kanakapura	ICSE	80Kto 110K (maybe more for NRI)		June-March
Prakriya	Sarjapur Road	ICSE	RF: 20K YF: 70K Fee varies per student		June-March	smitha-myviewsonlife vishwak blog
VidyaShilp	Yelahanka	ICSE & IGCSE	RF: 24K YF: 66K		June-March

Legend
RF	Registration Fees
YF	Yearly annual Fees
IB	International Baccalaureate Diploma Program
IGCSE	International General Certificate of Secondary Education
ICSE	Indian Certificate of Secondary Education
CBSE	Central Board of Secondary Education
OME	Curriculum prescribed by the Ontario Ministry of Education