As I type this I am on a flight to pick up my grandma. She was visiting friends in Ranchi when she fell breaking her wrist and injuring her back. This made it hard for her to walk. If I were in Seattle I would have heard about this over the phone sometime later this week. Here I am able to fly over and see to her - right now. I know things would have gone on and she would have been well taken care by others that love her. My Nani was always there for me growing up, she was there when I had my first baby. Many people love her and would have taken care of her but today I can. I am happy I can.
This is not a guilt inducer - it is about how life is. Many of us might not have been able to help our parents/relatives if it were not for the jobs that took us far away from them. Then when the roots set in it is hard to move back.
This is about realizing that things happen here that you don't realize the gravity of or derive the full joy from. Things that involve your family. It is not just about flying in for a surgery, it is about being there all the time. Once you are here people tell you more. It is not just that calls are cheap but the closeness makes them less apprehensive about worrying you.
My mother was sick a few times when I lived in the US and she got better. It was not serious enough for me to fly in and I called and checked on her. My father had his gall bladder stones removed - not a big enough issue for me to come. My cousins got married and I did come for their wedding nor see their spouses for years. I did not give this much thought while I was not here but now that I am it is hitting me really hard.
If a psychic told you – that a child that would fall into a river at noon today, you could save the child but would sprain your arm in doing so. There were two scenarios this could happen in -
- You were the only one that could save the child
- There were many that would save the child if you were not there.
We'd all show up for 1 but for 2 – well that is like being here and not being here. If you are here you end up doing more but if you are not then things go on. You are just not part of it.